This is a universal exercise that will help you grow in any aspect of your life, whether it is romantic relationships, self-esteem, fears, limiting beliefs, financial success, or any other area.
Think about one specific situation and write your intention on a piece of paper. For example,
- What is the biggest thing that doesn’t allow me to _______________ (find a soul mate, get a promotion at work, overcome my fear of public speaking, make more money, etc.)
- What is the biggest reason for my ______________ (inability to say “no” to my mom, anxiety, low self-esteem)
One more example,
- What is the true reason that I cannot ______________ (attract more clients, lose 10 pounds, find a new job, etc.)
This exercise will not work with an unclear or too general intention. For example, these are incorrect statements:
- I want to develop self-awareness. Or
- I want to be more successful in my business Or
- I want to stop fighting with my partner.
This exercise will help you to identify your biggest fear and to understand the real reason why you are not able to achieve your goal. When we can’t achieve something in life for a long time, there is usually more than one reason. And the main reason is hiding under dozen or even hundreds of small ones. If you can discover the main reason, all the smaller ones will lose their power immediately.
Imagine a war, there are 2 armies fighting against each other. This is your internal conflict. You have 2 sides inside that want 2 different things. For example, one part of you wants to lose weight but another is using food to cope with stress. Each party has its own soldiers, or reasons supporting each of the conflicting ideas. You can spend years fighting soldiers, but if you can recognize the general of the army and capture him, then the war is over. The soldiers will give up and run away.
Same with your inner conflict. If you can identify the main reason or main fear and overcome it, then all other reasons will fade away.
Let’s imagine a woman. Her biggest reason for not being able to find a soul mate is a trust issue. She doesn’t trust men. All other reasons like the extra weight, being too busy, and even her low self-esteem will disappear once she works on her ability to trust and commits to a relationship.
This exercise will help you to reveal the REAL reason, the PRIMARY reason that is hidden deep inside of you that is asking to be healed.
Ok, the exercise.
- Write down your request on paper and place it randomly on the floor. Then listen to yourself and find your own position on the floor where you feel comfortable. You might realize that you want to run far away from the paper with your True Obstacle or you might realize that you are only a few inches away from it.
- Once you find a comfortable position, take a few breaths in and out and see if you can get closer to your “Biggest Thing”. Try to take a step towards it. Notice what sensations you have in your body. What thoughts and memories are coming to your mind?
- Then do a few more steps and notice any changes now. The goal is to get as close to the paper as possible and overcome your inner resistance.
You can dedicate a few days to this exercise. The answer might not come to you right away. Because this is your biggest fear or biggest obstacle, it can take some time until you will be able to discover the answer.
Some people can get their answers while doing this exercise on their first try. Some receive their answer at night in their dreams. Others might get their answer while shopping – they might hear some conversation, a few words but these few words will be their big “Aha moment”.
I often get my answers through my dreams. My personal life hack is to repeat the question 3 times right before falling asleep.
This is a very powerful exercise. This exercise might bring you more insights than a dozen one-on-one sessions with a professional coach or therapist.