How to Trust Yourself

The ability to trust yourself means that you have realistic expectations about yourself, you know your weak and strong sides and you know what you want and how to get there.

We were raised with an idea that we should always listen to others. We listen to our parents, to our teachers, to our government and to our bosses. Often, we are afraid to make decisions because we don’t feel comfortable trusting our own gut. We question and doubt ourselves and are often more likely to follow other people’s advice, fulfilling their needs and sacrificing ours. Because of that we choose professions that do not satisfy us. We follow social standards and expectations. 

Not that we are following other people’s ideas but as a result we seek their approval and recognition. We are trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams and achieve someone else’s goals.

This is how we lose the connection with our inner voice. We no longer know who we are or what we really want. We suppress our true emotions and feelings. We feel lonely because nobody understands us. The truth is, we no longer understand ourselves. We no longer trust ourselves and are afraid even to admit it.

Self-criticism and self-hate are also proof that you are not on your own side. You are not allowing yourself to be YOU.

It’s time to admit it, you owe yourself an apology: an apology for not supporting yourself in difficult situations, an apology for punishing and criticizing yourself, and an apology for ignoring your true feelings.

Here are 5 real-life tips that you can use to rebuild self-trust.

How to trust yourself tip #1 – develop self-confidence.
Every day, little by little allow yourself to do one small thing that your inner voice tells you to do. It can be as simple as to drink tea instead of coffee.  Or maybe, when you wake up you had a quick thought that you need 5 more minutes of sleep. Follow your voice and give yourself those 5 minutes of staying in bed. During dinner time, if your inner voice says, “I had enough food”, listen to it and stop eating, even just for 2 minutes. Acknowledge this inner voice of wisdom and be grateful for having the ability to take care of yourself.

How to trust yourself tip #2 – find and acknowledge things that you are good at and things that come easily to you.
We spoke about following other people’s expectations. Here I am asking you to look at your own abilities and follow your own passion and desires. Usually, things that we are good at comes naturally and easily to us. Because they came naturally to us, by doing them regularly, your self-esteem will go up, your confidence will go up, and as a result, your self-trust will go up. Maybe you are good at running, or maybe you are good at cooking, or maybe you are good at telling jokes, or maybe you are good at decorating your house.

When you know and acknowledge your natural abilities, immediately, you will notice your fears and anxiety decrease. You can truly connect to yourself by admitting and doing things that you are good at.

If you continue to do things that you struggle with or things that you hate, you will continue to criticize yourself and feel that something is wrong with you, like you are not good enough.

Let me know in the comments, what are your strong qualities? What are you good at? Admit and acknowledge your power right here right now. If you don’t share, people might never know about them. Be brave and write in the comments – what are you good at?

How to trust yourself tip #3 – this is an extension of tip #2 – give yourself credit for your successes.

Be proud of yourself. If you did something good, do not ignore or minimize it. Ask yourself – how many people that you know could have done it as good as you did. Probably, not many, and perhaps no one can do it as good as you.

When we are doing things that we are good at and things that give us joy, even if we put some energy and time into it, it won’t feel like an effort. It won’t feel like a struggle. It will feel like a fun achievement.

How to trust yourself tip #4 – stop looking for a right answer.
Unless you are doing math or physics there is no single right answer. Life is not black and white. Every person is unique. Every situation is unique. What is right for one person won’t work for another. Focus on what’s right for you. Not for your parents, your friends, or neighbors. There is no right or wrong answer. Every answer has its time and place.

The beauty of being different is that it gives us a great opportunity to share our ideas and discuss them with others. It gives us the ability to invite people into our lives and offer them our perspectives, giving them the right to live their lives differently.

Every single person experiences the world in their own way. We have a variety of views and opinions. We are not machines, we are humans. We are unique pieces of one huge, beautiful puzzle. Imagine if puzzles fought with each other, criticized each other, or forced each other to be the same.

Identical puzzles could never create a beautiful picture. By being different, we complete each other. We are worthy when we are unique.

Let me know in the comments what you think about this tip. Do you agree or disagree with me? How easy is it for you to accept that everyone is actually right.

How to trust yourself tip #5 – allow yourself to make mistakes

If a baby doesn’t take the risk of taking their first step they would never learn how to walk. If a baby doesn’t make a thousand mistakes while learning how to hold a spoon and feed themselves, they will never be able to do it.

We hate the idea of potential mistakes and potential failure. The truth is if we don’t take risks, we’ve already failed. If you don’t try, you never succeed, so you immediately fail. Taking risks actually means giving yourself an opportunity to succeed.  Allowing yourself to make mistakes is one of the most important steps in building self-trust.

Let me know in the comments what self-trust means to you? When was the last time you listened to your Inner voice?