Me and my girlfriend were in my car in a parking lot. We got into a verbal dispute. I called her the c word. She punched me in the face. She was very irate. I grabbed her arms so she would stop punching me. When i grabbed her arms her whole body shrieked. She yelled “u hit me, I’m calling the cops”. I immediately said, “I didn’t hit you”. After she calmed down, I let go of her. She got out of the car and took off. That was 6 months ago. She will not speak to me. I do not want to get a restraining order so i have kept my distance. She told my mom in a text a month after this happened, that she “wasn’t sure what i told my mom (i sent my girlfriend a letter explaining what had happened), but that all she knows is that she is not safe around me”. I truly believe that she believes that i hit her. Is there a condition of a “blacked out rage” where she cant process true events like this correctly? Once i said the c word bruce banner became incredible hulk.
The first thing that you should put aside is your mother. You are adults, your mother cannot and should not be involved in your personal life. I understand that your girlfriend contacted your mother, just ignore it and tell your mom (if she asks) that you will figure it out on your own.
The second important thing to accept is that it’s been 6 months. Your girlfriend has not shown any signs that she wants to continue your romantic relationship. It’s hard to accept, but this is the truth. If you will try to force her to come back it will be worse.
The third important thing is that you sent her a letter explaning your position and she did not reply. Again, it shows that she doesn’t want to continue this relationship. Maybe she is terrified and thinking that you hit her, maybe she is using it as an excuse, but within the last 6 months, she has shown that she doesn’t want to work on this relationship. She doesn’t want to maintain any communication with you. She is keeping her distance.
Yes, it’s painful and I see how much you care about this relationship and about what happened. But you should step back and analyze the reality of the situation. The most important questions are: “How did you end up in this situation? What were the triggers? Why were you attracted to this girl? Why did you end up in such a detrimental scenario?” You need to work on those questions right now. Otherwise, you will end up in the same situation again. Unless you resolve these issues, you will not be able to create a healthy relationship with this or any other woman. You are stuck in an unhealthy scenario and you need to address your reactions first. You need to understand how this all happened.
I recommend that you watch my free webinar “Obstacles to Love”. Here is a link: https://youtu.be/wHPFk175_RI
I also suggest private therapy sessions. This is the safest and fastest way to work on yourself.
I do offer online sessions. I will be happy to help: https://elenasemenek.com/eng/private